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Thursday, 19 September 2019

Where's my GPS?


It's an hour and I am still driving to reach the venue. Didn't I see, Destination - 2 mins away about 20 mins ago on google maps? Oh dear, I'll have to ask someone for directions or worse, call up the husband! 
Let me clarify, it's nothing of an ego issue asking for directions. The problem lies elsewhere. 
My reluctance to self-drive to uncharted new territories, out of syllabus areas, stems from a systemic error in my brain - it is GPS deprived, no effing compass in my body!

Like a felon released on parole, fitted with a movement tracker, when I am beyond my normal comfort radius of say, 7-10 km, the buzzer in my head sends out warning signals - LOST, LOST, LOST! I have absolutely no clue where I am - geographical directions-wise, landmark-wise, nada, total blank on all counts. The corollary to this deficiency is, ineptitude in interpreting verbal or pictorial instructions. 
GPS RelaxNRave
Every time I embark on an adventure to visit a new place, the better-half does his best to graphically describe the landmarks I'll need to look out for. But a few minutes of listening to: over the flyover, under the bridge, before the signal, after the circle, take the third left...my mind goes totally numb and the ears tune out the said directions as white noise. Same goes for helpful directions from the Google Maps lady. 
So, basically me reaching a new venue on time, all by myself is purely, "Ram bharose"!
At times when I am driving around in circles, I've actually given up the idea of finding the way myself, parked the car in a fairly safe-looking locality and scooted into an auto rickshaw to the designated venue with a prayer that I'd remember how to get back to my car. 

I haven't yet researched this peculiar affliction but I believe it could be a genetic predisposition. My mum and her sisters are reknown for their equal or greater proficiency in "the art of getting lost". I recollect several instances of these dear women getting lost in their immediate neighbourhood, in malls, and group tours. Needless to say, this clan of women, yours truly included never takes on treasure-hunts, nature treks or other such mindless pursuits that are way beyond our scope. We are of course discussing these situations occurring in broad daylight. Night-time navigation is a whole other ball game when all roads look the same! None of us ventures out alone after dark. We love ourselves and our loved ones too much to take on such gambles!
When I see the flabbergasted responses of folks when I announce that I got lost...again, I realize, it isn't a very common thing to get lost in familiar territory. 
Before you cast snarky aspersions that this is a female thing or age-related, let me assure you we have a good many men and even teen members in this elite club.

And then there are people who have photographic memories. They can deftly find their way through convoluted routes they've visited in their childhood. Ugh...showoffs!

I am rather happy with the advent of Ola, Uber and other travel services. Obviously they are convenient, offering you recourse from having to strain your energies driving and focusing on traffic manoeuvers. 
Older cabs did you the same service. However, some crafty old-timer cabbies conned you the minute they got a whiff of your cluelessness of your whereabouts and you'd be taken on a ride, literally, a long roundabout ride with the meter racing away merrily.

For me the biggest draw to Ola, Uber is that they come with navigation feature and more importantly, they possess drivers who understand how to interpret it!
Unlike the taxi drivers of yore who knew the city, its every nook, gallikaccha rastas and shortcuts like the back of their hands, most cab drivers of these latest services have little or no clue of the route they need to follow to reach the passenger's destination. They simply follow the route map provided by the navigation service requisitioned by their brand. 

Do you remember the Grimm fairytale of Hansel and Gretel? The wicked step-mother plans to abandon the two children in the forest. When the children overhear her plan, Hansel leaves out a trail of bread crumbs to follow back. So clever, isn't it? But the crumbs are eaten up by birds and Hansel and Gretel are unable to find their way back home and are lost in the big bad forest. 
Whenever I try to mark landmarks in my mind's eye on the way to a new destination, these markers are snatched away like those bread crumbs and I am left with no directions to proceed!
I can also relate to Abhimanyu's dilemma in the Chakravyuha, in situations where I am lost in a new terrain and have no clue how to head back where I started from!

Looking at the brighter side, this peculiar trait is kind of like an art, one that develops over the years and one that not everyone possesses. An art that saves you the time and effort of explaining routes to other people or being expected to lead an expedition!

Anybody else out there with whom this post strikes a chord? Do let me know...we can share notes on the Art of getting Lost!





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Copyright © 2019 KALA RAVI

Comments (40)

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Well I am quite nifty with Google maps but my sense of direction is nearly not as well developed as dad's (obviously). But there was one very interesting thing my uncle did when he had to park his car and was unsure if he'd find it back. He took pictures of the pillars around the car. Problem. Solved. Love your humour Kala - always 🙂
1 reply · active 289 weeks ago
I can so relate with it, personally I don't like GPS but it's a huge help at times.. regarding drivers I still crave for those ones who will tell you their city tales and talk about popular food across the streets
1 reply · active 289 weeks ago
Uff..I can't even properly guide using GPS! :P
Once we went in circles in search of a theatre because we kept taking the wrong turn. Oh, the blame was on me because I was guiding him from behind the bike. :D
1 reply · active 289 weeks ago
Dear Kala

There is one difference whenever I go to a new place and come back. I ask for directions - from a different set of people !!

To me after the introduction of Google maps, traveling to places that are new has become easier if there are no flyover's. As one goes straight or laterally there are no issues. If there are flyover's and if we are told by the Google mami to go over the flyover, under the bridge, before the signal, after the circle, take the third left...my mind goes totally disarrayed !! Proves that a fool with a tool is still a fool !!

Well written Kala. Very hilarious !!

Ramkumar
1 reply · active 289 weeks ago
Aaahhh... SOUL SISTER!!

I can say ditto to every single thing you wrote, and I mean that literally. Everything except that I am the only directionally challenged person in my family. Nobody, literally nobody is this bad. My mum actually is pretty great. Better than anyone else I know. She's the one with the photographic memory!

But as far as I am concerned..from not going anywhere new for the first time by myself & not venturing outside the familiar radius to not even attempting to trek or go out in the night by myself..and getting lost in familiar territory, even with a GPS and all - ditto, ditto, ditto!!
I am wary too of driving in unfamiliar terrains. Once I followed Google map and traveled through all sorts of roads, but managed to reach the destination without damage.
Very nicely written post dear.
I like it very much.
https://techno.merakildh.in/
Well written!! I couldn't think to write about this unique topic.
You have picked such a unique topic to talk about .. love ur theme and style of writing.
Aah! I can relate to this. I was terrible with directions and remembering landmarks and google maps truly flummoxed me. But years of travel have made me somewhat better. Husband is great at this and I can say that his coaching (read exasperated expressions) has helped me (read pushed me) to a certain extent. :D
Enjoyed reading this fun and humorous post, Kala.
I have had a set of friends who were clueless about directions and yet could drive. So, I used to end up as their navigator every time we had an outing. I had to even remember the number of their parking space in the mall. They say practice makes you perfect and so those navigations with my friends helped me to understand Google Maps pretty easily. But I can still feel you. Your sense of humour is contagious and I loved reading every word of your post.
#readbypreetispanorama for #MyFriendAlexa
My husband can't do without GPS. If we have to go out somewhere, he will start googling an hour prior to the departure for the route and traffic. This used to irritate me but now I have also got used to it. Great post! #MyFriendAlexa #ShubhraReads
hahahaa.. good one, well m good with roads n directions, my major usage of GPS is to predict traffic
Oh yes oh yes. Though I have to admit google maps has made life a little bearable. Earlier it was an absolute nightmare. Once when we'd just shifted to a new house I got lost on the way back from work. It was night (Yeah) and raining. Finally a gentleman on a scooter said I'm going the same way just follow me (after trying to explain the way and seeing the blank expression on my face). And so I put my faith in a total stranger and he led me home. When I think of it now I get goosebumps. He could have taken me just about anywhere.
So true...this is so ME!! And, somehow I feel GPS is always trying to put me down. I nag my husband to drive me to unchartered places and if he on one of those 'be-an-independent-woman-sermons', I turn to OLA. Hopefully, I can cultivate this art! Really really happy to read post!
That's what my mom says! 😀
But everyone is different and just tracking isn't your forte..
this a great topic u have picked up on GSP so well written
It strikes a chord with me totally. Face similar situations regularly. (Facepalm)
My internal GPS isn't as developed or advanced as the others in my family. Yes, I'm the only member in our family of four who can't recall the route that I've passed through (even if the count is as less as once in my lifetime). Everybody else is blessed with photographic memory. I think I missed out on that gene somehow! But I'm quite talented with Google maps. My family might have photographic memory, but they can be quite lost when it comes to Google maps. 😄 Which is exactly where I come in, to save the day! 😆 Of course, this happens only when we're in an unfamiliar place, so it's not often that I get to save the day!
I sucks at travelling navigation through GPS, I prefer asking with people on road special with drivers.
#millennialscribbler
#myfriendalexa
My bag is full of GPS lost stories and it’s both when I was alone on driving and when we went in a family trip and experiences were horrible.
I recollect you telling me about this when we met at Tata Lit Fest. This usually happens to me when I am travelling to a place visited a few times before after a long time. And on the contrary, missus directs me to the destination with her photographic memory.
I can be your total twin in this aspect of life!! I tend to mix up routes more than my my dal with rice!
How i wish myself otherwise. And hence, cannot venture into unknown terrain ever alone behind the wheels. Could totally relate to this one!
It has happened to to me as well. Sometimes the old school will come to our rescue
From my experience, GPS navigation - google map is highly unreliable. Once it sent me via a non-existent road over a tar road. I prefer to ask locals, instead.

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