Decor - Gets a makeover - Guest post

This is one post I am very proud of. Guest post by a writer, blogger and humourist I deeply admire, respect and look upto for his exceptional sense of humour and brilliant writing prowess. 
It gives me great pleasure and pride to host the inimitable Suresh Chandrashekharan on my blog today.

The gentleman that he is, Suresh sir requested me to give him a word, any word and he'd work a post around it. I gave him the word - Decor. With just that, he has woven this post, in his classic style. An honour to have him write this one specially for Relax-N-Rave!

Decor

You know you are the sort of person who cannot understand the ‘D’ of decor when you come back home to see every single thing from the - settee to the TV – moved around and still look blank when your sister asks you, “See anything different?” Until, of course, you chuck your briefcase at the TV and topple it, while simultaneously plonking your bottom into the potted vase and leaning back into thin air, with the natural consequences of doing so.

All that comes of a misspent childhood where, after reading a few books, you assume that you can figure out the meaning of words all by yourself without the benefit of a dictionary. Which meant that, having come across the word ‘decorous’ before as applied to children, you associate decor with decorousness.

Come to think of it, is there really such a fantastic being as a ‘decorous child’ outside of the pages of a book? The sort that sits silently by – on the ‘children should be seen and not heard’ basis – instead of running about the house upsetting the china and screaming as though someone was chasing after it with a wand and the intent to practice the ‘Cruciatus’ curse on it? (The PARENTS...now there must really be occasions when THEY felt that the wand would come in handy!) Or the ones which behave on the ‘Speak when you are spoken to’ basis, instead of giving sullen stares and groaning when the guest asks, “And what class do you study in?” (Well! THAT is once I really feel in sync with the kid. What a question to ask just as the poor mite had come back home and was trying to forget that there was such a thing as a school in its life...) I believe, nowadays, parents have reason to give long thanksgiving prayers if the kid really did NOT speak when spoken to...the new generation apparently does not feel any inhibition about forming opinions about guests and saying it out aloud. The mildest reply, I am given to understand, is “When are they going away, Ma?”

But...I digress, I invariably do when faced with a subject that I know nothing of. An ability that we management grads hone very well. It will not do to admit you do not know about...anything...especially when the other person is hanging on your lips expecting pearls of wisdom. So, you sort of get into the habit of uttering those ‘pearls of wisdom’ on some other subject and, if you do it well enough, you can get the other person to actually believe that their question was about THAT subject.

No? Sad...accounts for the fact that I never really succeeded at management. Anyway...decor...hmmm! Maybe I should call in that Shah Rukh guy...as and when he takes an interval from acting in one more movie. He seems to think that repainting the house is a breeze and can be squeezed in when your favourite mega-serial takes a commercial break. He is even singing and dancing when he does it. Now, me, I would be more like the Uncle Podger (NOT Potter! He probably waves his wand and says something like “House Decorus” and presto...) in Jerome K Jerome’s works, who hangs a picture after knocking holes in all the walls of his house and smashing up his hands to boot. I would have a better chance of raising a decorous child, believe me.

Be that as it may, let me assure you that decor is something that every house should have. I assure you such is the case even if I would not know what it is, if someone served me ‘decor’ on a silver platter. After all, I am a modern chap and I know that knowing things is absolutely unnecessary to be certain about it.

If you really want to know things about it, please refer a book on architecture or Interior decoration or some such. Like P.G. Wodehouse once had his schoolboy character write in an exam, “Refer the textbook for the correct information. No point going by me. I would only misguide you.”

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ABOUT C.SURESH

Fiction has been an addiction but the need to make a living took Suresh Chandrashekharan (C.Suresh) through Chemical Engineering and a PGDM at IIM-Bangalore; to a long 16 year stint in the area of finance with specific expertise in fertilizer subsidies and a further two years as consulting expert in the same area. That, in his words, about sums up the boring part of his life, except for people he was priviledged to meet.
Otherwise, he can be described as a mess of contradictions - a bookworm but avid trekker; alone but never lonely; enjoys solitude but loves company; lazy but  perfectionist, the litany is endless. Trekking, which side-tracked him from the writing for which he quit his job, is a major passion and he does, at least, one trek in the Himalayas every year in addition to numerous local treks.
He reignited his passion for writing with a fairly popular blog www.jambudweepam.blogspot.in. The blog has been rated among the Top 5 humour blogs in India, twice in succesion - in 2014 and 2015 - by BlogAdda, and has also been listed third among the Top Humour Blogs by Baggout.
He also has a short story published in a collection,"Uff Ye Emotions" and has edited and written a novelette in an ebook anthology "Sirens spell danger"

- Sourced from the Author bio of his latest book "A Dog Eat Dog-food World" 
A brilliant and hilarious book on the pseudo-history of marketing management!
If you haven't read it, please do! 

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I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6, a week long blog marathon based on prompts, hosted by The Write Tribe.
It is #Day 6 of The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6  and today's prompt is: Feature a guest - guest post/ an interview.
 

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