Timone
was bored. The sun was beating down on his back mercilessly and he was
famished. Now what wouldn't he give for a juicy tubful of his favorite treats!
Sigh, gone were those Hakuna Matata days when he could scoop and stuff
armfuls of those treats right off tree-trunks or slimy poodles. With the new
legislations, those tasty treats were now classified under Jungle property,
that meant you actually had to pay for those critters.....who does that? He had
to have his treats right now and he would do just that, with a little help.
"Hey
Pumba!" he said giving him a sharp jibe on his ample midriff, "Guess
what?"
"Aww, Timon lemme be," slurred Pumba.
"Pumba,
you won't believe what I am gonna tell you....we are going to 'Snakes and more'
for their no-bars-all-you-can-stuff buffet platter! Isn't that
awesome?"
"What,
what, what....come again Timone," asked a bewildered Pumba coming alive at
those words. "Really, you're going to take me there?"
"Why
of course my dear friend, I am going to take you there and the connoisseur that
I am, I shall introduce you to the finest selection of top-of-the-line gourmet
bugs, worms, beetles.....freshly harvested, delicately plated and served by the
best chefs in the Jungle. You my dear friend, are in for the treat of your
life!"
By
now, both friends were practically drooling and they cantered or is it
scampered as fast as they could to reach the gastronomic mecca of Pride Landes.
They soon reached 'Snakes and more' and made themselves comfortable on the squat boulders. For
a whole minute they simply gazed at the mountains of food, heaped in piles,
alive, squirmy, plump and juicy waiting to be devoured by them! Ahhh.....this
was like revisiting the Hakuna Matata days!
"Ohh,
welcome, welcome to my humble restro! I am very happy that the cheeky meerkat
and the gassy warthog have graced it!" said Rafikii. "I am proud to present to you, the no bars, all you can pig...I mean
hog....err, stuff...Rafikii's special buffet spread of the choicest,
hand-picked, delectable morsels of ecstasy. Go ahead, pig on...I mean tuck in,
and a word aside to you Mr Pumba," he said pulling him along.
Tapping
him on the head with his staff he added wisely, "We don't see things as
they are....remember!"
"Oh,
come on Pumba, don't listen to that old monkey, we have work to do!" shrieked
Timone hurrying on to grab the largest leaf platter he could find.
Two
hours later, the two pals slumped, stuffed to the brim with no space even for a
mite more. Rafikii came around, clearing his throat, "Are we done here,
boys?"
"What
done? Not already! That was just us warming up, right Pumba?" exclaimed
Timon, proceeding to load his platter again.
"Pumba,
I tell you this black beetle is the scrunchiest ever, but I tend to be biased
toward this wee little multicolored one too! You know what? I think I will get
down to worm-farming soon....yes, capital idea isn't it? That way I can have my
worm and eat it too! We can rope in Simbaa as a partner too. He can be the
brand ambassador for my product: Imagine this, a can of the finest worms with
Simbaa on the logo proclaiming, 'Timone's Best: Did you get your daily scoop?'
Meanwhile
Pumba was getting a bit restless, "Err, Timone, don't you think it's time
you paid up, Rafikii's waving his staff quite meanly."
"Yes,
yes, in a bit. Just wait will you? So where was I? Hmm, yes, Timone's Best!
What a great name, can you think of anything better? No? Of course you can't!
So like I was saying, we could pitch it better with Simbaa on the can. Not that
I would look bad on the can....say what! But just for ol' times sake, I think
I'll give him a chance."
"Say....Timone,
what about me? The can could say, 'Timone and Pumba's Best'?"
"No,
no, no that won't do...too much information equals brand dilution, we want to
keep it simple and smart, stick to the rules. And I suggest we do a promotional
feature....yes I got it! I'll give you a role in it, in fact a big role in it!
Order one crate and we give them free delivery, and guess what? You'll be
personally delivering it with a smart cap bearing the caption: Timone's Best!
Genius aren't I? Are you happy now Pumba?"
Rafikii
rapped his staff on their boulder seats,"Are we done?"
"Go
away, old monkey, we are discussing important marketing strategies. Pumba needs
my advice. Pumba pay attention...as I was saying, the core to selling the
product is in marketing it, blah, blah, blah and of course it involves some
more blah, blah and blah" on for the next twenty minutes!
Finally,
Pumba could bear it no longer, what with his overfull tummy, glaring Rafikii
and Timon's non-stop drone! He went up to Rafikii and handed him the tiny ruby he'd found during his daily forage in the bogs.
"Okay
Pumba, are we done yet?" called Timone, "Don't you take the longest
time, shuffling about so slowly on your feet? Come on, get a move on! Did you
enjoy the treat? Didn't I tell you, you'd have the best time of your life? Now,
move, scoot, let's push off! I wonder if we can catch the matinee show, my
treat again, I guess it's your lucky day boy!"
Guess
what category Timon belongs to? Yes, you are bang on! It's Category 3 - The
Waiters
Do
join me again for the next episode in the Bill please series!
DISCLAIMER:
This
is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are
products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.
Happy to be a part of:
READ:
A quick recap to help you understand what Category 3 - Waiters
means:
I have managed to segregate people into six categories based on
their distinctive reactions upon sighting the bill. I also hasten to add that
one cannot be indefinitely slotted into a particular category, after all human
reactions vary according to situations, don’t they?
We have the third category - the Waiters! Well,
obviously I don't mean the ones serving the food but the guys who like to take
their time coughing up the dough, even if they are the ones that initiated the
luncheon!
The bill arrives and lies unattended. The server anxiously
hovers around anticipating the settlement. But nothing fazes the Waiters!
Masters of meaningless chatter, slow and steady wins the race for them. They
are thicker-skinned than the MIA's; they do not leave the battle-front, they
hang on to their seats and still pull it off! Eventually brawling babies,
pestilential kids, grouchy dates and sheer civility kick in to ensure that the
tab is picked up by anyone else besides the Waiters! Yes, the game's Waiting,
simply Waiting!
Copyright © 2016 KALA
RAVI